Coffee Jokes

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Jason Coffee

Just for fun I have been tweeting and posting facebook updates with coffee jokes. The Coffee Jokes are often times corny and many times fueled by the coffee I am drinking at the time. If you have coffee jokes please share them in the comments. I will continue to add jokes and update this article over time.


Coffee Jokes

Why did Coffee cross the road? – Because he was tired of being ground-ed.

Why did Coffee cross the road? – To get to his daily grind.

Why was Espresso so sad? – Because he was under so much pressure at work.

Who does Coffee trust most? – Espresso because he will always take a shot for a friend.

Why did Espresso keep checking his watch? – Because he was pressed for time.

Why was Tea so grumpy? – Because it hadn’t had it’s Coffee yet and was really Tea-d off.

What does Coffee say when it’s depressed? – Pour Me, Pour Me.

What did one coffee say to the other coffee? – Where you bean?

What did Coffee say to Filter? – You put a strain on our relationship.

Coffee Knock Knock Jokes

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Coffee Brew.
Coffee Brew Who?
Coffee Brew for me not you.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Caffeine Who?
Caffeine in your blood stream.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Joe Coffee
Joe Coffee Who?
Joe Coffee’s Ready!

Which jokes to you like? Which ones should I take off the list?

Share your own coffee jokes in the comments.

These are original jokes written and created by Jason Coffee of Coffee Cup News.
photo by deovolenti

Facebook Comments

Website Comments

  1. JimsJava

    Did you know that the Bible says the man is to brew the coffee? There is even a whole book of the Bible devoted to this – Hebrews.

    On a related note: Did you know that making bad coffee for your spouse is grounds for divorce?

    Wife: Ouch! I spilled my coffee on my hand and burned myself, it was so hot!
    Husband: Oh, no! That was fresh, gourmet coffee you just spilled!

    Customer: This coffee tastes like dirt!
    Waiter: Well, it was just ground this morning.